Executive Dysfunction

Am I-
I-
Am I?
I want to
I want to start
I want to know how to start
I want to want to know how to start
I know I should start
I am guilty that I cannot start
I want to create easily
To flow from one good thing into another thing that is good
To fail gracefully

I sit in the ashes of doubt
I can only turn and not accelerate
creatively blind
Well fed and exhausted
Mind frozen and broken into pieces
each piece thinking in loops unconnected

I don't want to do what I am doing
And I don't know what I want to do